What makes a one-on-one get-together into a 'date'? In the last few weeks, I've been asked to get dinner or go out 'sometime' by 6 guys over Facebook messaging, and thus I've been thinking a lot lately about whether those outings would be 'dates'.
The obvious first requirement for a 'date' is that there be two people of the opposite sex (or the sex to which each is attracted). In a good date, they would be also attracted especially to each other, but I've been on a few dates where I wasn't attracted to the guy (thankfully it's been very few of those!) So attraction to each other is not a necessary condition for a 'date', but is it a sufficient condition? I would argue that it's not - I've been out more than a few times one-on-one with guys where there was mutual attraction (and I'm talking about mental, emotional, etc attraction in addition to physical attraction), but yet those outings were not 'dates' in my mind - although perhaps they were 'dates' to the guys...
Which brings up the non-mutuality of the 'date'hood of an outing! It's entirely possible for one person to think that an outing is a date and the other person not to - or for both of the directly involved parties to not think it's a date, but other outside parties to think that it is!
But anyway, back to what makes an outing into a 'date' for me... Asking for a one-on-one meeting after only seeing each other in group settings tends to imply 'date' - as well as using the 'date' phrases such as "we should go get coffee sometime".
One of my friends that I was talking to brought up the uncertainty and thus butterflies that often accompanies a date. Does he like me? Does she like me? Is anything romantic going to happen? Did I say the right thing, or was that totally stupid? I think the uncertainty is closer to a necessary condition for a 'date' because if I'm certain (either that it's just friendship or that we're already together), then it's not a 'date' in my mind.
What makes a get-together into a 'date' for you?
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