(as of October 2013) OkCupid got rid of their Journal feature, so moving all of my posts over to Blogger... My OkCupid profile is here... http://www.okcupid.com/profile/multipassionate

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Time to close down my OkC profile

It's time to close down my OkCupid profile - but I want to save my writing.  So here is what my profile used to say...

My self-summary

I'm in a significant relationship with someone amazing - I need to get around to changing my whole profile at some point. But for now since we've just moved to the Boston/Cambridge area, I thought I'd keep my profile up as a way to meet new friends and interesting people. If you think we'd have fun hanging out as friends, feel free to message! (although I won't be answering romantic messages.)

Old Profile:
I haven't had much luck with online dating sites (I tend to meet interesting, driven, passionate people at events and through mutual friends, plus I don't really enjoy the normal going-out-on-dates paradigm), so I keep this up more as a personal place for me to document my thoughts on this aspect of my life and to sometimes meet new friends. (And, I'm traveling a lot these days, so I'm changing my profile location around. It may or may not be representative of where I am at this exact moment. I think that common interests, future lifestyle intentions, and connection are much more important than current location proximity - both for friendship and relationship.)

Now back to your regularly scheduled profile...

I will make this world a better place with my actions. Dancemath, &psychology will always be a part of my life. I believe in living a life that makes you happy in the present while still making conscious, informed decisions about your future. I love children, waterfalls, and an open dance floor. I am always learning, always looking for more and new information& opportunities. I love to understand, and inspire, and delight!

Life is a journey, and I have only just begun. :-)

Am I searching for the impossible? Perhaps, but then I like to do the impossible. :-)

(**Check out my journal for more of my thoughts on relationships -http://okcupidmultipassionate.blogspot.com/)

You might be for me if...

1) You are intelligent and intellectually curious - preferably in the math / science / tech / problem-solving smart way. You love learning and pondering new ideas and concepts. The mind and the brain fascinate you! Foreign languages and linguistics intrigue you, and you probably know how to program in a computer language (or several).

2) You also have an artistic / creative side, aka you play an instrument or sing or act or dance or draw or paint or sculpt or write or build or photograph or design or create or make or ...

3) You're ambitious and want to make a difference in the world, perhaps to the point of being a bit of a workaholic. You have a career/business/start-up/non-profit (or several) that you love, and you are creating positive change in big (and small) ways. You are kind, and you like helping people. You are generally optimistic and positive. You believe that people are inherently good (even if they do stupid things sometimes), and you rarely get mad at other people. You take initiative and personal responsibility for your life, feel capable of doing most anything you set your mind to, and have an internal locus of control. You're much more about cooperation than competition, although you do like to push yourself (and others) to be and do more! When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, and lemon cake, and lemon popsicles, and lemon chicken, and...

4) You exercise and eat healthy (most of the time!). You're interested in real foods / paleo, longevity / life extension, transhumanism, and local foods / sustainable sourcing, aka how what we eat and do affects our brains, our lives, and our world, but you also are apt to enjoy a decadent treat every now and then (and given your crazy busy lifestyle, you do sometimes make food choices based more on convenience than health). You don't smoke, and you drink only in moderation. Bonus points if you can do cool stuff with your body - like acroyoga, martial arts, gymnastics, circus arts, parkour, climbing, crazy human tricks, etc. Even more bonus points if you'll go partner dancing with me (blues, tango, ballroom, salsa, etc.) Super bonus points if you'll do acrobatic partnering with me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWxdK525n0Q)

5) You don't care about "keeping up with the Joneses", but you do have and spend money on experiences that make you happy. You would be just as happy vacationing by living in a van on Maui for a week as you would be going to Vegas and seeing cirque shows.

6) You're not into organized religion, but rather are on your own philosophical path, whether you consider yourself agnostic, atheist, pantheist, spiritual, possibilian, slightly religious, Buddhist, etc. You are moral, generous, and tolerant.

7) You don't own a TV since you would rather read a book or discuss ideas or surf the internet (or be working on making the world a better place). But you do enjoy movies (and a few TV shows, like Firefly!). (And you may have an awesome projector set-up.)

8) You're just as comfortable covered in playa dust at Burning Man as you are in a suit at a business conference or VC meeting because you are highly adaptable and socially adept. You're mature yet playful, confident yet humble. You embody inclusion, self-reliance, self-expression, and participation.

9) In relationships (and in life), you are drama-free & emotionally stable, open & honest, and extremely supportive. You are highly self-aware and communicative. You want a romantic relationship where both people help each other to grow, learn, become better, and lead fuller lives - where even though we are out doing lots in the world, our home/family life is very stable and comfortable, the bedrock foundation that allows us to take (calculated) risks elsewhere in our lives. Also you have close friendships with both men and women, including some of your exes, and you want to maintain those friendships even after getting into a serious romantic relationship.

10) And then, there's the all important 'spark'/mutual attraction/love - you could be all of the above, but we might not click. Or you could be only a few, and we might have a really strong connection (although if you aren't a majority of the above, the relationship probably won't go anywhere.)

11) Last, but definitely NOT least, you want to co-create an amazing family and have a child in the next few years (but not settle down!). You're interested in (or at least open to)... natural birth, attachment parenting (breastfeeding, babywearing, cosleeping, etc), healthy eating ('real food'/paleo), accelerated intelligence (prenatal learning, multiple languages, supplements, baby signs), homeschooling (Montessori, classical education, unschooling, accelerated math&science), very little TV, nature&outdoors (hiking, camping), domestic & international travel with the kid(s), and including the kid(s) in real life and real work. You would love to be part of a family-friendly intentional community (or multiple communities since you want to be traveling!).

What I’m doing with my life

Currently working on a masters in education policy and management at Harvard Graduate School of Education.

Old Info:
Doing grad work and consulting around early math learning, and educational policy, research, and leadership. The program I'm in has summer residency in Boston and online classes during the year, so I'm location independent and traveling this school year. Back and forth between Chicago/Michigan to spend some time with family, LA/SF to spend time with friends and help with events, and Boston/NYC to collaborate on some projects and go to conferences. My OkC location may or may not be representative of where I am currently - I barely know where I am sometimes! :-)

I used to own a boutique & educational center in San Fernando Valley, plus I was on the Board of Directors for an all-ages, kid-friendly makerspace / hackerspace in Downtown Los Angeles - so I tend to be really busy being entrepreneurial and helping people. I also try to find balance in my life though taking dance, acroyoga, & cirque classes; connecting with amazing friends; reading math textbooks & taking online courses; etc. Even when working, I'm a bit nomadic - going to events, mentoring & helping with projects, meeting new people all over the US. (I sometimes change my OkC location to random places to see what interesting people there are across the world!)

In the past, I've helped promote & organize conferences (including BIL!), mentored amazing entrepreneurial teens, taught high school math & science, nannied & 'mother'ed, ran a charter elementary school, owned a dance store, taught ballet & jazz, wrote high school curriculum, and worked at various other random businesses and jobs.

I got my BA in Cognitive Science from UCSD, after realizing at Caltech that as much as I love math, science, and programming, I don't want to do it all the time - I have too many interests! (In addition to my Tech classes, while there, I also started the Caltech cheerleading squad, taught dance classes, and took psychology & early childhood education classes at Pasadena City College.)

I’m really good at

-reading quickly and learning new things quickly. Oh and I'm also extremely good at adding more books to my huge collection! :-)

-customer service, and teaching, and giving presentations.

-standardized tests. And I kinda enjoy taking them!

-procrastinating... and perendinating...

The first things people usually notice about me

My eyes and my smile tend to get compliments. Or that I'm short! :-)

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Books... I read mostly non-fiction. I am an information junkie! I have lots of various interests, and I want to know all about them! Mostly books about cogsci, math, computer science, education, child development, linguistics, etc. When I do read fiction, it's usually sci-fi (Ender's Game, etc).

Movies... The Matrix, Serenity, Princess Bride, Shawshank Redemption, Fifth Element, Strictly Ballroom, Jurassic Park, Contact, Gattaca, Dave, Equilibrium, Titanic

TV... Firefly, Sherlock, Dharma & Greg, Buffy, So You Think You Can Dance (I don't actually own a TV, but I watch series on DVD and Hulu sometimes.)

Food... I like all sorts of ethnic food (Thai, Japanese, Indian, Greek, etc). I eat mostly healthy, but I do have my weak moments. I'm interested in paleo,CRONraw foodsintermittent fasting, and various other ways to eat 'healthy', although I don't practice any of them consistently at the moment. My eating habits are mostly real foods and low grains. I shop at Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, and farmers' markets.

The six things I could never do without

-My books!
-My computer and internet access!
-Music & the ability to move to the music
-My friends who are like family to me
-Control over my time
-A space of my own

I spend a lot of time thinking about

everything! Why I'm here in this world, how to help people to be happy & productive, how to expand my mind, how to survive the zombie apocalypse, what to have for dinner...

Here's a list of some of my interests stolen from my livejournal from many years ago (remember when we used livejournal ?!?!)...
a perfect circle, accelerated learning, acrobatic dancing, acroyoga, aerial silk, anti-aging, artificial intelligence, artificial life, arts, attachment parenting, baby signs, ballet, ballroom, belly dancing, books, burning man, business development, calorie restriction, caltech, chaos, children, chocolate, choices, cirque du soleil, cleverness, cognitive science, complexity, computer science, connecting, consciousness, creativity, cuddle parties, cuddling, curiosity, customer service, cuteness, dancing, data mining, day spas, daydreaming, discovering, dolphins, dreams, e-commerce, education, educational software, entelechy, entrepreneurship, experiences, exploration, financial planning, firefly, fitness, flexibility, flow, friends, fuzzy logic, game theory, genetic algorithms, genius, gifted education, growth, gymnastics, happiness, healthy living, helping people, home schooling, honesty, human computer interaction, ideas, imagination, information, infp, inspiration, intelligence, interconnectivity, kids, languages, learning, life, life coaching, life extension, linguistics, listening, logic, love, lyrical, making a difference, marketing, massage, math education, mathematics, meditation, mind, montessori, motivation, music, musicals, neurolinguistic programming, neuropsychology, non-fiction, nurturing, observing, ocean, opportunities, paleo diet, passion, people, personal growth, personal responsibility, philosophy, pilates, pisces, pole dancing, pondering, possibilities, productivity, programming, project sifter, psychology, psychometrics, quirkiness, quotes, rain, randomness, raw food, reading, reflection, reggio emilia, relaxation, romance, science, self development, self discovery, self-exploration, serenity, simple living, singularity, smileys, smiling, spas, sustainable living, swing dancing, teaching, thai massage, the matrix, thinking, traveling, tribal belly dancing, tropical places, trust, truth, understanding, uniqueness, unschooling, user interface design, water, waterfalls, web design, weirdness, yoga.

On a typical Friday night I am

home learning something new aka reading, surfing the internet, watchingTED talks or MOOCs / online courses, etc. Or maybe out at a restaurant with friends. Or going blues dancing. Or at an acroyoga jam. Or traveling and going to conferences. Or contemplating the universe and its wonders.

Previously I was often at my business getting work done, because that's when it's quiet (no customers, no employees, no phone calls), and I can really concentrate and focus on just working! :-)

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

-That the me you meet in a particular social setting is only a facet of me. You'll have to see me in lots of different settings to see more of my facets. For instance, my nerdy/geeky friends are really surprised when I start dancing! And my dancer friends often have no idea that I like math problems. Or if you meet me at a conference, I will seem very outgoing and extroverted, but I'm just as much an introvert who needs time by myself/with one person that I'm really close to.

-That I'm looking for a realistic monogamous relationship. While I do like/practice many of the emotional aspects of polyamory (trust & loyalty, open communication & radical honesty, compersion & non-possessiveness, etc), I don't consider myself 'poly' and I'm looking for a serious, committed relationship leading to co-creating a family. Someone who will be my main go-to person, my best friend - someone to share my life with - someone who is happy to have me be their one main squeeze! :-) But I also want someone who recognizes that being together for the long-long-term aka 'til death do us part' means that feelings & attractions for other people might happen at some points, and that based on our crazy busy lifestyles with traveling and whatnot, we may not be able to fulfill all of each other's needs (physical, mental, emotional, etc) at all times - someone who is honest & open to talking about those feelings & needs and figuring out how it works in our relationship at that point in time to deal with them. Someone who has the open/compersion/poly mentality, but is monogamous in practice 98% of the time. Someone who isn't looking for more than our relationship, but who is able to communicate and handle it well if other feelings or needs do come up along the way. "You can't expect one person to be everything for you and to meet all of your needs - but you can expect one person to want everything for you and to help you meet all of your needs."
(Read my OkCupid journal to find out more of my thoughts on relationships - http://okcupidmultipassionate.blogspot.com/)

You should message me if

You like pondering new ideas and possibilities!

You are positive, ambitious, thoughtful, inclusive, curious, empathetic, and self-aware.

You're going to be at BIL (www.bilconference.com) and want to say hi! :-)

**********************
To let you know... I'm seeing someone amazing - I need to get around to changing my whole profile at some point. And I am fairly busy with my grad work, my side business, my other projects, my friends, my hobbies, etc. But if you are working on similar projects or think that we'd get along really well as friends, feel free to message! :-)

As a way to start you off on your message, so that you write more than 'Great profile - you seem cool' (which I most likely will not respond to), maybe tell me 4 things that really stick out from my profile as what we have in common, and then also one significant thing that you think we disagree on. :-)
Or tell me what awesome things you've been up to lately to change the world - what you are passionate about currently! :-)
Or describe what you would do with $162 million (after taxes). :-)